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For Sale To A Good Home

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  • For Sale To A Good Home

    Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab SLT

    My lovely bride and I moved back to Iowa after 10+ years of sweltering in the desert heat of western Arizona. Less than 2 weeks before the move, though, our minivan decided it wanted either A. an engine rebuild, or B. a new engine, all because of a timing chain. The mechanic we had used for several years could not guarantee with any certainty that the vehicle would be ready come time to hit the road, so we ended up buying a pickup.

    Now we have 2 of them, and since we replaced the van with another we have four vehicles with garage space for three. In case no one has noticed winter is coming.

    So, assuming you will give this beauty a loving, attentive home we have a deal for you.

    1999 Dodge Ram 1500 Pickup, complete with the original dealer sticker (the new one, not the used car lot version) listing all the tricks and toys the original owner tossed in when he bought it. No assurances of “Yeah, it has that, I think.” Nope, original sticker right down to the price.

    This truck is pretty much loaded, though we lost the bug shield to a passing semi that blew it right off the front. Tow package, tonneau cover, bed liner, locking hitch (no one is going to steal that baby without a torch), seating for 5 (6 if you put the center console up), tape and CD and radio players, cold AC (came from AZ, remember), heat, fog lights and a bevy of other little goodies.

    But, you say, it’s a ’99. Must have a lot of miles on it, right? Nope. The original owner was an older fellow who wanted to buy a travel and, well, travel. Unfortunately his health took a dump and he never hit the road more than a time or two, so it has – get this – 72,200 miles. Original, no odometer rollback. Remember, his health failed him and it was used as a local driver only for years before he finally had to give it up entirely being no longer able to drive. We bought it from the same mechanic who had maintained it for him, and the owner was almost religious about oil and fluid changes and such.

    Great rubber, one minor (seriously, its minor) cosmetic area to the left rear box where it rubbed a mailbox, zero rust (no salt on the roads in the Mohave desert doncha know), tight steering, good brakes and a recent oil change with fewer than 100 miles on it. Our local shop told us (in a hushed, awe-filled voice) “It’s really clean underneath.” Yes, it was inspected so that we wouldn’t be passing on any surprises and you can buy in confidence.

    Now before you pick up the phone you’ll want to know the specs, so here you go, straight off the sticker:

    1500 Quad Cab 139” Wheelbase, 2WD
    White with a Mist Gray interior
    Interior is a “Premium cloth 40/20/40 bench”
    Locking bin under the rear seat
    136 amp alternator
    Heavy Duty Engine Cooling
    Auxiliary Transmission Cooler
    Heated Outside Mirrors
    4-speed Automatic
    “Magnum” 5.9L SMPI V8
    Power Windows and Locks
    Tires are 225/75R16 with a full-size spare
    Dual rear access doors
    Speed Control, Tachometer, Tilt Column
    Cast Aluminum Wheels

    This truck is sturdy, it has airbags, it has a large front end in case you go deer hunting on the highway and even a decent brush guard thingee (to protect the radiator from that deer). This is the one you want your better half driving if you value their life. Everything works, even the dome light.

    Cheap to register, cheap to insure. I’d like to tell you it gets 25 MPG but in reality it is rated for 17.

    Now, down to business. We are asking $6,000. We know there will be bit of dickering involved so before you ask, yes, we will accept $7,000 if we like you. We’ll also give consideration to partial trades for gold and silver bullion and firearms, with a cash balance. Sorry, no stock options or municipal bonds. No mailed cashier’s checks with a transport service picking it up (it has been tried already). Face-to-face deals only.

    You know you want it, and you don’t have to lay down $45K to get a new dealer sticker either.The old one is still reasonably suitable for framing.

    Tricks and treachery are the practice of fools, that don't have brains enough to be honest. - Benjamin Franklin

    I have but one person on my ignore list. Can you guess who it is?

  • #2
    Re: For Sale To A Good Home

    That's barely broken in by Dodge motor standards. You know what I am going to say though...

    ...if it were a 4X4, we would be all over it...

    If someone is in the market for a good tow rig though, it's a winner. Lower insurance cost to get the older vehicle like that and the performance as good as anything.
    Life, Liberty and the pursuit of those who threaten them.


    • #3
      Re: For Sale To A Good Home

      4x4 and you'd have to race me to get to it first! But it'd be quite a bit more money too, I'd imagine. Can't see this sitting long enough to collect dust before someone snatches it up.
      "some people never let their given word interfere if something they want comes along"
      The real problem with the world are laws preventing culling.