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    Congressman Wilson lived up on a high hill outside of the town. There were million dollar houses with million dollar views. The house itself was hidden by hundred year old trees and a long twisted drive that snaked higher and higher for over a quarter mile. We arrived and it was agreed that I would take lead but after that nothing was set in stone. The one thing we had going for us was that the congressman did not have live in help. He was rumored to have parties that may not have endeared him to the voting public so the fewer inner circle people the better for him… and us. I knocked and the other two tried to not look like they were cold blooded assassins who could gut you and then eat a burger while sitting on your freshly bled out corpse.

    A voice whispered in his ear" Good Morning, Attorney General", as a blade slipped in to the right if his spine. Congressman Wilson woke with a start from where he had dozed off in a nap. He had been having the same or similar dreams about being appointed Attorney General after the next election, a position he had pushed hard for in the party. And for some reason no good for him came of it. He worried that it might be a harbinger of things to come but he wasn’t really superstitious. He heard another knock on the door. That must have been what woke him up. He went to the door. The congressman opened the door himself and from the look on his face he wasn’t expecting us. He was dressed in some kind of color not found in nature slacks and a T-shirt with the slogan “Obama Rules” on it. I knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty. I identified myself and told him we needed to talk to him on a matter of national security and he had a quizzical look on his face but he invited us in and took us through the house to a veranda to the rear that overlooked part of the bay. He tried a smile that was so fake he couldn’t act in a D grade movie and asked what was it all about. Since it wasn’t going to be pretty I jumped right in. “Did you hear about the cop getting killed on the waterfront? “ He nodded yes and then said “It was a tragic thing.” I followed, “Yes it was, so congressman can you please tell us why the cop killer Valentine was holding a case with half a million dollars in it along with a vial of nerve gas and it was all supposed to go to you?” You could see the terror fill his eyes and then he remembered who he was. He was under the protection of the white house for some reason and he was not going to be afraid of anyone. “How dare you accuse me of something like that. I had nothing to do with that mess. Now get out.” We just sat there. “I continued, “Look Mr. Wilson I haven’t accused you of anything…yet but he didn’t just pick your name out of a hat. There had to be a reason for him to mention your name and you would believe him as we did if you knew the circumstances. And, if I could give you some friendly advice, "The last place I want to be in a case like this is first in line." That is if I were you. You see what we do is work a case and get answers. Now think hard and tell us why he dropped your name.”

    He got up and again emphasized “GET OUT! This is nothing but an ill conceived attempt to smear me and my party in the coming elections. I’ll have you jobs for this and maybe if I’m lucky I’ll see you in prison for attempting to harass and slander a U.S. Congressman. Do you know who I am? Do you know who I know? I make one call right now and As he was jabbing a finger towards my chest there was the sound of the slightest pop, and the wristwatch disintegrated off the man’s wrist. As he stared dumbfounded at his wrist there was another pop and the belt buckle sang as the little .22 round tore it free and jerked him back to reality. His head turned and he saw LC with a suppressed .22 taking aim at his private parts. Seeing danger he peed his pants and fell to the ground whimpering soiling his Obama rules t-shirt. Reb and LC both advanced on the cowering man and bodily plucked him from the ground and sat him down. He was whimpering like w whipped dog as the two men towered over him. LC slapped the man and then once the man was back to the present " Life's all about choices", he said as he placed a cell phone and a prescription bottle in front of the Congressman. I continued because he was terrified of LC. “What you can now do Mr. Wilson is call the people who are using you to do whatever and you will discuss with them the matter of the missing money and what happened today or you can take a pill and all your problems will be over with. “You can’t…” he started but LC slapped him so hard he came out of his chair. The two men put him back and I tried again. “Here is the deal as we look at it. You move us up the chain we leave. There is no reason for you to tell your people you told us because no doubt they would kill you. You call the press all this comes out and you get tried for treason or whatever and again your life is over. He thought for a minute and said “They will never answer that phone.” “Sure they will it is a clone to yours and everything will be recorded and tracked and everything it hears will be data mined. Or, you can take a pill.” He made the call.
    By the time he finished we knew we were on the right track. We knew who was in charge, and where to find them. We still did not know the total package though and neither did the congressman. We sweated the congressman until we got it all. LC had been away to give the man air while Reb and I pushed the questions. When we were getting ready to leave LC told us “Watch this. He pulled an old WWII or Korea vintage grenade from his pockets. He moved over to the congressman’s Audi and got down on the ground. He pushed the grenade deep into the exhaust system of the foreign car. “So much for the elections,” he said as he set the charge. “Where the hell did you get that?” I asked. He responded “Ya can still find them all over Europe and Africa and they will fit where some of the other baseball types won’t. You also don’t need to pull the pin because age has made the igniters so unstable that the heat from the exhaust will set them off and that close to the gas tank they will always blow the guys azz away.” He had that Cheshire cat grin on his face again. Reb turned to me and said “And you thought I was unreasonable?” As we were driving away we knew it would just be a matter of time before that congressional seat opened. Reb was asking LC how he knew about the exhaust trick and he replied that he had actually thought of it when he was in Chechnya. He was betting one of the chiefs over there that it would fit the new exhaust systems and If anyone had asked previously, he would have sworn that a pineapple would not fit there. I won a couple hundred euros off that one. That is also why the folks in the know are having grates welded to the exhaust pipes now. He smiled that smile again.

    We figured that it wouldn’t be long before Wilson hit the pavement. He was halfway to town when the back end of his car drenched him with flaming gasoline. He should have taken the pill.

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    We sat there and watched as the soup bubbled out of the bowl to make room for Amanda’s face. We all exchanged glances and then LC piped up “The things you see without a camera.” He walked around the desk and rescued Amanda from death by chicken noodle. I commented to no one in particular, “I guess that she didn’t know that part of the document washing process for nerve agents used an ether compound. They must not have taught that at any of her colleges.” Then LC finished with “Or she was absent that day. She won’t be fit to deal with for a while so we may as well make some use of the day.” He gently picked her up and carried her to the couch in her office. He grabbed some napkins and cleaned her up as best as he could without looking like he was actually concerned and then we left to find something to do that was constructive.

    I stuck my head in and told the boss about Amanda and that someone should check on her in a while. After he got done laughing he told me that Valentine was conscious and the locals wanted to do a bed side arraignment to get him into the system. But, before he lawyered up like a bank vault I should get over and talk to him. I rejoined Reb and LC and told them what was up and that one of them was going with me. I had finally resolved the twin issue since everyone else was calling Bob Reb, I figured why fight them. LC said he had an errand he could take care of so Reb stepped forward and said he’d come along.

    We got to the hospital and found our guy and he was guarded by a couple of locals who looked like they were not too hot on the duty. I flashed my ID and told them to go get coffee. They took the hint and left. We went into the room and closed the door. Valentine had looked better. He was propped up with half a dozen pillows and had enough tubes and lines running in and out to make a decent suspension bridge. At the same time, the second the door closed his eyes popped open and he had the look of a cornered ferret. One look at us and he knew we were not there to take his temperature or bring him flowers.

    I walked over to the bedside and slowly said to him “You know Mr. Valentine… you are in a very bad position. The local cops are putting together a pool to pay off the guy who kills you in the jail, plus I am sure they are not going to investigate you murder really well and it is better than even money they will never discover who did you. Now if you have something to offer maybe I can make sure you live to get to trial and maybe you get a nice warm bed in a federal prison instead of being thrown into a hellhole state pen. All you have to do is talk about what you were doing with a briefcase full of cash and a vial of nerve gas. Oh, and one more thing… your voluntary assistance in this matter will last just long enough for my friend there to walk across the room to you and start pulling out something that is probably pretty important to you.” I looked at him and waited as his eyes shifted to Reb as the man started a slow saunter across the room. Valentine didn’t have his full voice but one look at Reb and he knew that there was no bluff being run. If he wanted to live for another five minutes he had to talk… NOW. In a croaky raspy voice all he could get out was “Wilson… the congressman for this district. I was supposed to give him the case or die trying. I don’t know why. I was just a bagman they promised a lot of money to.” I asked if there was anything else I should know and while he was answering me he was watching Reb as he fingered the man’s pain med dispenser.

    All of a sudden we could hear all hell breaking loose even with the door closed. A shrill obnoxious voice that was a cross between a broken chain saw and a stepped on beagle dog was penetrating the door as she was telling some other poor soul who she had trapped about the wonders of President Obama and how he had saved the nation. That person was Valentine’s court appointed attorney. The judge had also been a special appointment by the man so she had a reason to thing he was perfect. I leaned over to Valentine and said “Brace yourself, just listen to her and act like you care because you know what she can do to you if you tick her off.” The door blew open and in came this 400 pound fat woman. Valentine sat up as best as he could and tried to say hello and smile at her. She smelled like a barnyard, looked like a bulldog and had the brain of an ant and thought Obama was a god. But she was the judge who held his fate. She started off on me when she saw me and going on about violating the man’s rights etc but Valentine just croaked out we had asked him nothing. Reb and I moved to the corner of the room while she ranted about everything including the wonders of Obamacare before she finally got around to arraigning him. While she was stumbling and mumbling through the legal process Reb leaned over and whispered in my ear “I thought Janet Reno was retired.” I bit my tongue as I tried not to laugh as the smelly woman fought through the process and then she left but not before telling Valentine that he should be thankful to be treated so well and he could thank the president because of all he has done for everyone in health care.

    She left and Valentine sent off his attorney who couldn’t care less if we had lynched him on the spot. I picked up the phone and got a call through to the boss about having Valentine moved into a fed facility in case we needed him down the road and he said he would make it happen. Valentine nodded in acknowledgement but before I left I told him “If you left out anything critical or even not important at all, that man across the room will visit you again and then that will be it.” Valentine nodded he understood and then we left to get back to the shop and figure out the angle on the congressman.

    Across town LC was on his own fact finding mission. Some of the guns found where Valentine got picked up came from a local gunshop. As he exited the Southern Tacticool Firearms and Supplies he was shaking his head at the wheelbarrow they were trying to slep as being all the rage. There was something about this shop that just said neckbeards and now LC knew why. He thought about the conversations that had been going on around him while he was checking out the staff and asking some very pointed questions about who had been working the day the guns were bought. He especially liked the one guy’s comment about having seen a cool site on the internet where they could mount sights on the side of your Glock so you could hold it sideways while shooting. The whole store seemed to be a hangout for those poor dreamer folks who always envisioned themselves getting into gunfights and coming out the winner yet they had no clue that if they really did wind up in a gunfight they had screwed up somewhere along the line because they should have killed a lot earlier or not been there at all. The one piece of info that made it all worth while was that the clerk who sold all the guns to Valentines crew was long gone. Hadn’t been back to work in days and when they checked where he lived his car was still there… but he wasn’t. He would put out an APB on the guy when he got back to the office but he figured the only way they were ever gonna see him again was in a séance. All the same he would have to go to the guy’s place and see what might have been overlooked by the curious.

    We all arrived back at the shop at the same time. We headed to Amanda’s office to see if she was awake and the nurse was just leaving. “She is still a little loopy so don’t try to get too much out of her.” We walked in and Amada was slouched into her chair with half closed eyes. She saw us and tried to sit up but things still weren’t working too well. She was looking at LC and holding a pencil in her hand. Her gaze went back and forth between LC and the pencil and then she finally stopped on the pencil and started to say "Is this what I think it......" then she stopped and just went back to staring at LC like he was a three headed purple donkey. He walked around the desk and patted her on the head and told her we would be back. She reacted to LCs touch like a Labrador puppy wiggling and making a whiny sound of delight. Then she closed her eyes and went off to dream land again.

    We wound up in the boss’ office and told him of our exploits of the day. He really took notice when he heard the congressman’s name. The man was one of those come from no where wonders who got elected as a result of lots of money from unknown sources and another vote for the administration was bought and paid for. He religiously stumped for and championed every cause that the Obama Whitehouse threw out to the public. In other words he was protected as if by the forces of darkness. He would be untouchable by the usual means of investigation. The boss asked for suggestions. LC sat there cross-legged and said “The man was supposed to receive a case with half a mil in cash and a vial of VX gas. If that doesn’t call for unconventional investigation means, well, no one does. He is damaged goods and we need to find out what he knows and how high it goes. Right now he is looking at treason.” The boss broke in “Yes, if you believe Valentine and he wasn’t just throwing out a name that he knew we couldn’t go after as usual. For all we know it is a false lead, a bluff Valentine is running that we won’t be able to check on.” Reb had been sitting quietly listening, “Yeah, that might be true, but he doesn’t know us that well to know we sorta specialize in doing the unconventional.” The boss just looked us over and then gave a nod. As we were leaving his office LC told him “You know there might be a congressional opening coming up. You might wanna start politicking if you want the spot.” The boss laughed and said, Yeah, the day I would get an appointment for something like that.” And he laughed.

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    started a topic THE LUNCH DATE Part V


    WHAT I Had to work with


    REASONABE RASCAL- "The last place I want to be in a case like this is first in line."

    And also:

    "Is this what I think it......"

    I thought Janet Reno was retired????

    STRMRDR- She smelled like a barnyard, looked like a bulldog and had the brain of an ant and thought Obama was a god. But she was the judge who held his fate.

    Seeing danger he peed his pants and fell to the ground whimpering soiling his Obama rules t-shirt.

    GRIPPER- So much for the elections, he said as he set the charge.

    A voice whispered in his ear" Good Morning, Attorney General", as a blade slipped in to the right if his spine.

    " Life's all about choices", he said as he placed a cell phone and a prescription bottle in front of the Congressman.

    ROADKILL- As he exited the Southern Tacticool Firearms and Supplies he was shaking his head at the wheelbarrow they were trying to slep as being all the rage. There was something about this shop that just said neckbeards and now LC knew why.

    JEFFERSON 101- And you thought I was unreasonable?

    NOLAND- If anyone had asked previously, he would have sworn that a pineapple would not fit there.